Marriage and Honor #2

Exo 21:8  “If she is displeasing in the eyes of her master who has engaged her to himself, then he shall let her be ransomed. He shall have no authority to sell her to a foreign people, because of HIM DECEIVING HER.

  • displeasing This is made out of two Hebrew words;רעה & עין, or ra & ayin. Basically has an evil eye which is a Hebrew idiom for being stingy
  • deceiving This is bâgad which is used in Mal 2:16 when YHVH commands that we not act treacherously!
  • There’s a little more clarity added in these translations of 24:1.   
    • (BBE) If a man takes a wife, and after they are married she is unpleasing to him because of some bad quality in her, let him give her a statement in writing and send her away from his house.
    • (ERV) “A man might marry a woman, and then find some secret thing about her that he does not like. If that man is not pleased with her, he must write the divorce papers and give them to her. Then he must send her from his house.

If she is displeasing in the eyes of her master!  This is exactly what was going on with Joseph!  With Mary being pregnant it must have seemed to him that he’d found an uncleanness/ in her.  One of the words used in the definition for uncoveredness (used in Deuteronomy 24:1) is pudenda; which means external genitals.  I’m sure you get the point there!  Her being pregnant before consummation would fit the exposing herself to one not her husband (John 4:18).  The very definition of adultery!  Unfortunately by Yeshua’s time it’d grown to divorcing your wife for burning dinner.

The divorce debate in Jewish circles in Jesus’ day pitted the followers of Hillel against those of his rival, Shammai. Hillel took a more liberal view, permitting divorce in a variety of circumstances (even if the wife spoiled a meal!); Shammai, only in the case of adultery. In both Jewish and Greco-Roman society, Blomberg notes in his commentary on Matthew, “divorce and remarriage were universally permitted and often mandatory following adultery.” [292] Hagner’s commentary on Matthew [549] adds: “Rabbinic Judaism required a husband to divorce an unfaithful wife.”


There are several more clarifiers contained in the verse as well.  One of which being him deceiving her.   The word is bâgad and is translated as treacherous in Mal 2:16.

Mal 2:16 “For I hate divorce,” said יהוה Elohim of Yisra’ĕl, “and the one who covers his garment with cruelty,” said יהוה of hosts. “So you shall guard your spirit, and do not act treacherously.”

When you couple the verses together; deceit by either party; is a grounds for annulling the marriage contract (Exo 21:10).  Deceit isn’t your new wife ruining dinner; it’s your being stubborn and sneaky enough to replace her for a better cook so to say.  My hubby is a trucker.  They fart and burp. I never wanted to divorce him for it!  Maybe spray him down with fabreeze; but not divorce him!

It’s sneaky, scandalous behavior!  Like an old friend of mine!  She got herself in trouble and the guy wanted nothing to do with her! No job, no money, and a baby on the way; she started having sex with everyone.  That way she would be able to convince one of them they were the sperm donor!    Mary didn’t act that way with Joseph!  Or take the case of my little sister.  Instead of getting a job she started having sex with her husband’s uncle for rent! The absolute agony I saw in my brother-in-law’s eyes made it perfectly clear why he filed for a divorce!  In both cases treachery was involved!  Treachery is a matter of the heart! (Jeremiah 17:9, Proverbs 4:23)

When I think of the heart-break in my brother-in-law’s eyes over what my sister and his uncle had done I cry! It absolutely no surprise to me that YHVH Himself expresses agony over this one!  The pain in R.’s eyes made me regret deeply my one indiscretion!  How sweet and compassionate is it that the Living One, King of Glory compressed that glory and came to us in human form to SHOW us how to walk His Torah out in our lives!  I am not one bit surprised that my Master called out the leavened thought process (cognitive distortion/thinking screw up)!  Nor am I surprised that He clarified the ONE acceptable reason to divorce!

I mentioned my one indiscretion.  Just like my husband forgave me 21 years ago; He forgives us when we make a hasty vow (Numbers 30:8)! Unlike my husband; who was justifiably angry for a long time; His mercies are new every day!  Adultery is selling yourself out; in other words selling your morals out for momentary pleasure!  It’s not a very good barter as far as I am concerned as it borders; or perhaps crosses the idolatry lines!!  God says not to act treacherously.  doing so places YOUR WILL over God’s will in priority!


Level: Basic

• Judaism believes in the concept of soul mates, called bashert
• The primary purpose of marriage is love and companionship, not just childbearing
• A contract called a ketubah spells out terms of marriage and divorce
• Marriages between certain close relatives are prohibited
• Children born out of wedlock are not bastards in Jewish law

So; in summary; a breach of contract is a breach of contract.  The rules of the union are set in the marriage ketubah/contract. (Jer. 31:32, Isa. 54:5) Yeshua further clarified how to love you spouse; as He loved the chosen ones/church.  Um He went into Egypt with signs and wonders (Exodus 7:14-11:10) to get His bride and present her with His ketubah! Then in spite of her cheating on Him with other lovers (Hos_8:9); He allows Himself to die; fulfilling His Torah so He can reclaim His lost love!  He didn’t berate her.  He didn’t ignore her. He didn’t knock her out!  He instead showed/s great patience, love, and fortitude in showing her how to walk in His ways!

There is one final codicil to this whole issue however!

1Co 7:13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he thinks well to live with her, let HER NOT SEND HIM AWAY.

How funny that one is as it is the story of my marriage!  Of course if the unbelieving spouse WANTS to stay they are going to be willing to cooperate!  In that case reconsidering getting a divorce is called for!  As the next verse says; you don’t know if staying will cause your spouse to call on God; as was/is my case!

When there was treachery in my marriage I threw a fleece before my King and presented my case!  God answered me and we are still together!

Mental abuse is HORRIFIC and physical almost as tortuous!  NO ONE should stay in that EVER!  I grew up hearing uncle hit aunty in the next room!  All I ever wanted her to do was gain some strength and leave the situation.  She never could!  If you are being abused GET HELP!  it’s out there!

 Mat 19:9 “And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, except on the ground of whoring, and marries another, commits adultery. And whoever marries her who has been put away commits adultery.”

Original here